directed by Phyllida Lloyd
Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham
This was the third production on which Phyllida and I worked together, and it could easily have been the last. I struggled with my acting role, the saturnine Don John, whose villainy causes so much distress. I didn’t have a clue how to play him. And because I was an instinctive actor, without a thorough training, I didn’t possess a systematic approach. This contrasted with very systematic training in classical music; in fact, one of the song settings I did for this production became a reference point for the quality of work Phyllida could call on from me.
My difficulties building Don John began to get to me. This, along with emotional rawness from what had clearly been some sort of breakdown earlier in the year, made me a spiky and uncooperative company member. After it was all over, Phyllida wrote to me, and made a statement that was to alter my life. She said that if she were to put a company together, I would be her only choice as composer; but that I wouldn’t even be on the ‘D’ list as an actor. She thought I should pack in the acting and concentrate on composition. I agreed, but my identity was very much tied up with the idea of myself as an actor. The thought of not being one, of declaring myself to be a composer, panicked me. It took another couple of years for me to follow Phyllida’s advice, but eventually I did. I’ll always be grateful to her for speaking up.
The production was beset by other problems, which didn’t make working on it any easier for any of us. It was a small-cast version, performed in the round, starting its run in the studio space at Cheltenham Everyman and then going out on a local tour. Early in rehearsals, one of the cast was in a serious road accident, and had to be replaced. During the run, an actor became very ill and we had to cancel at least one show (I can’t remember if we had to lose more than one). On a small cast, these upheavals weighed heavily. All in all, music aside, it wasn’t one of our happiest experiences, even if it did contain a good song, and one of Phyllida’s theatrical show-stoppers — the company creating, with the help of a huge sound effect, the arrival of and disembarkation from a military helicopter. This is one of Phyllida’s most impressive talents: she not only has these fabulously theatrical ideas; she’s also able to realise them brilliantly. It’s wonderful to be part of something like that.
